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The only thing is, I get hard and can't help myself. Is it wrong if I jack off?”“Wu..., well, Jamie, I'm not sure how to answer that for you little guy. Yes, I've played with myself before but I don't know if it's really wrong. I know it makes me feel good. Do you play with yourself a lot?”With his head slightly lowered Jamie answered, “Almost every night. Sometimes twice.”What could Jack say. “That's okay, Jamie. I don't think you're gonna go to hell in the near future for that.”“But, Jack, there's something else.”Curious, Jack asked, “What could that be?”Jamie blurted out, “I think about guys when I'm doin' it.”“You mean you don't have a little girl you think about that makes you hard? Have you ever made out with and touched one of your little girlfriends at school?” asked Jack bewildered.Sheepishly, Jamie answered in a lowered voice, “No. When I go to the showers after gym, though, I like to look at the other boys. Sometimes I get a hard-on right there and have to hide it.”As Jack. I had new notebooks and pencils for school. A new coat that fit from Goodwill. I was able to sneak out of the trailer and eat at Burger King for the rest of the summer and on into the school year. I stopped my petty crime spree for quite a while and laid low until the heat was off.As I got older, school was still my favorite place. Even if I never had friends who sat with me at lunch and was never invited to parties, school was away from Mother. Before the first week was over I'd have read all my textbooks from cover to cover and begun trying to read everything in the school library. But I never raised my hand to answer questions and if the teacher did call on me I made sure to give stupid answers most of the time. I had to stay invisible! Being invisible was a good thing.Once when I was in fourth grade one boy saw through my invisibility, picking on me until I'd had enough. I checked out the heaviest book I could from the library. That recess period I found him, waited until no.
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